Scumbag Survival

I’ve been surviving by eating crackers, bread and pasta for a while now, because I work in a field where my competition seems to be based primarily in poor African countries.

Not an actual field, mind you. We don’t work together in a field. I could have said vocation–which in this case is freelance writing–if I wanted to avoid any potentially awkward racial humor.

In my actual field (which is more of an alley) there is not a lot of work to be found. Dumpster diving is an option, but when job risks include AIDS-infected heroin needles, I’ll stick with eating crackers, bread and pasta.

In the fields of my Nigerian peers I believe AIDS grows naturally and roams freely, but they might also grow their own AIDS-infected tomatoes.

I’m not sure who has the healthier lifestyle.